Dear Dr. Manmohan Singh,
Hope that this letter finds you well. You may not have heard about me and till last week I hadn’t heard about you either. But it was a friend of mine who evoked an interest in you by using the choiciest of expletives none of which I would like to repeat in this mail. Having said that though, I think I might actually be able to help you out, my dear sir, with some of the problems that you have been facing. Allow me to explain in my own way.
From the limited knowledge that I have gained by poring over the recent news posts, I see that you have encountered one problem after another. It seems that ministers in your ‘cabinet’ have caused much damage to your reputation in the form of corruption cases against them. Now my dear sir, I have no idea why you would want to keep ministers in your cabinet, it seems such a strange thing to do. For you see, where I come from, there is only one minister and he is just too cool with earrings and stuff. But wait, I am digressing from the point once again.
The point that interested me most was the fact that you mentioning that you did not have a “magic wand” to solve problems. Now Dr. Prime Minister, I am not entirely sure that all your problems can be solved by a magic wand but I would like to suggest that you try one and see.
For you see my dear sir, I specialize in magic wands. And I believe that to my credit I have managed to match every single wand seeker with the wand that best suits him or her. Of course as I often quoted as saying, it is not the wizard who chooses the wand, but it is the wand that chooses the wizard. But I am pretty sure we can work something out for you as well. So I have a simple suggestion sir, that you come over to my shop and we will find you the wand that best suits you. Needless to say, I am currently the finest wand maker around and you can be assured of the best possible quality in your wand choice.
If you find this a suitable proposition, please fill up the short questionnaire about yourself. This would help me in trying to narrow down the wand core combinations that might suit you. I pride myself in being able to construct wand cores from dragon heartstrings, unicorn tail hair and other formidable creatures. Although if what I hear from my friend is true, I would have to create a one of a kind wand for you – from the heartstrings of a mouse of possum (I think that is what he said).
Thank you for your time sir. I look forward to receiving a favourable reply from you shortly.
Sincerely,
Ollivander (Mr.)
Managing Director
Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC
Diagon Alley
London
Encl: Personality questionnaire
