Antimony’s Weblog

May 1, 2010

Story Attempt 2

Filed under: Uncategorized — Antimony @ 3:08 am

Fri, Jan 16th 2130hrs

The meeting had gone off well. And there were no witnesses. He had ensured that his guards had been posted to the gates of his residence. They were to remain there at all times. His family was also off to some place on a holiday. Everything had been setup perfectly for the meeting that had just taken place.

His guest had arrived promptly at 2000hrs. Just as he had said he would. He and his guest then dined on a fine 7-course meal that his cook had been instructed to prepare. After the dinner, they retired to the study to go to work.

The guest was obviously no stranger to what he was being asked to do. He spread it out on the table so his host could see what and how much of it he had brought. He took care to ensure that he placed not only what the host had expected, but also a bit more. The host licked his lips at the glorious sight. He then took a moment and looked his guest in the eye and smiled and nodded. The deal was done.

Two months later

The news agencies were having a field day. All of them screaming the same headline and craving for attention. This time though, the headlines did merit attention. Or so thought the common man.

Many soldiers, numbers beyond belief, had fallen. There had been an exchange of gun-fire in which most of them had their lives cruelly ended. The initial reports coming in stated that there seemed to be something wrong with the bullet-proof jackets that the soldiers had been given. The common man looked at it in shock. Surely they were joking? Only two months back had there been a news item announcing that the soldiers were going to be given brand new bullet-proof jackets to help them fight better. And now the reports say that there was something wrong with the jackets? Something was very, very wrong. Something was just not right. Somebody had to take action! Somebody had to be held responsible for this fiasco!

Two months later

The attack that had killed many soldiers was now a story of the past. Well, it had been a story of the past 3 days after the incident happened. The mood now was of the high profile marriage of a couple of actors. Nobody really cared about the soldiers or for the state of the nation. Something was just not right had been replaced with obviously something was a trivial mistake. Somebody had to be held responsible for the fiasco had been replaced by nobody can ever be held responsible. And the nation went back into a stupor on its own affairs. After all, this was the coming union that had long been speculated but always been denied by the two parties involved. So naturally, the whole country was more interested in it.

Meanwhile, the intelligence agencies had gathered evidence that some anti-social elements were planning to attack senior personnel from different departments of the government. They had issued an advisory to all personnel to try and get more protection for themselves. They had also been asked to wear at all times, bullet-proof jackets. However, in order to ensure that the quality was good enough and not the same as those given to the poor soldiers, they had to get it cleared from some of the labs part of the defense ministry.

The man read the reports from the intelligence agency and thought that the odds of that happening were really low. Besides, who would want to wear a heavy jacket all the time? Maybe he could just have more security personnel guarding him to counter this. Let the attacker try and get him then. The attacker would stand no chance!

A couple of days later though, he was informed that he could not be given additional security because all the security had to be deployed for the protection of people higher than him. The agencies pressed him to get a bullet-proof vest soon and finally he caved in under their request. The man managed to get one and began using that regularly.

A couple of days later, the predicted attacks took place. Except that it took everyone completely by surprise. There had been someone on the inside who had informed his colleagues outside and the plan had been changed which the protection force hadn’t been prepared for.

The man stood in shock as he saw the events unfold right in front of his eyes. His attacker was charging towards him with a pistol pointed straight at his heart. The security personnel were trying to bring him down but the attacker was very skilled to keep dodging the bullets. Finally, they managed to bring him down, but not before he had shot one right at the man. The man, wearing the bullet-proof vest, didn’t notice it coming towards him. It hit him squarely on the chest. He didn’t think much of it since he was wearing the jacket.

The man took a few steps and then collapsed. Some of the security personnel rushed to him and others went to get an ambulance. When the ambulance did arrive, they realized it was too late. The bullet had gone right through the jacket. The jacket had not even offered a shred of resistance. The bullet wasn’t that powerful, but those near the fallen man realized something of the jacket. It was the same as the one used by the soldiers.

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4 Comments »

  1. BTW, this is based on an article I came across recently. If you want the link, drop me a message.

    Comment by Antimony — May 1, 2010 @ 4:42 am | Reply

  2. I like the paragraph leading with “The attack that had killed many soldiers was now a story of the past.” the best. Sorta like making a jaded, cliche comments in a non-jaded and non-cliche way.

    The way the story unfolds with the house and the dinner kept me on track with glad anticipation. Nice.

    The third person narrative of the poor beaurocrat reads well in light of what was stated previously. Still, this poor brain doesn’t understand the clear connection between what was offered after the dinner and the bullet-proof vests.

    If I may speak as a person with no knowledge of weaponry, what would be considered a powerful bullet and what wouldn’t? And how does a person dodge a bullet?

    Comment by kdk — May 1, 2010 @ 3:22 pm | Reply

  3. Well…is the bureaucrat who dies in the end the same guy who made the deal in the beginning? and what was that he got? money?

    Comment by A — May 12, 2010 @ 2:34 am | Reply

  4. @KDK: Thank you for your compliments! :)
    Well, what I wanted to convey was that the one carrying out the attack managed to evade all personnel. I didn’t really look at the nitty gritty details of it, which I probably should have. But I thought that at this point, the story had already become a bit too big already. And BTW, this was the part of the story I thought people might find flaws in, and boy did you hit the target! :P

    @A: Yup. The bureaucrat is the one who made the deal in the beginning. And for what he got, lets just say that it was a corruption tool. What it really was, I would like to leave it to personal interpretation. Thanks for patiently reading through the article! :)

    Comment by Antimony — May 13, 2010 @ 6:06 pm | Reply


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